The R. Kelly Loophole

Did you know you can legally approach 11-year-old girls for sex as long as you you refer to said sex as "an R. Kelly?" You can! Here are a few other celebrity-based expressions that should keep you out of the joint and on the street:

• Look at me like that again, and I swear to God I'll "Dick Cheney" you.
• Driving under the influence? Goodness no, officer. I've just been out doing a little "Chris-Penn-ing" and "Mario-Andretti-ing."
• Excuse me, young man, what would you say to me paying you fifty-dollars for a "Tom Cruise?" There's an extra ten in it for you if you sneak in a "Clay Aiken" or two.
• Holy "Kevin Federline!" I just "Star Jones'd" that guy's "Corbin Bernsen" all over the "Lindsay Lohan!" I am so "Bob Saget'd!"