Price of Bradnifer Abode Plummets

If you always dreamed of living in a house stained with the tears of Jennifer Aniston, but just couldn't get your hands on 28-million clams, fret no more. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are reportedly slashing the asking price of their house by more than $3-million to $24.5-million. How will the pair make up the difference? With a few simple budget tweaks:

• Brad will only "adopt" eight slaves per month for the next two months.
• Jen will start wiping her love-lorn tears with fifties instead of hundreds.
• Instead of buying Angelina a large toilet made of gold and pieces of the Shroud of Turin, Brad will buy her a medium toilet made of gold and piece of the Shroud of Turin.
• Jen will sell her three least-favorite unicorns.
• Brad will attempt to earn at least 40% of Maddox and Zahara's love, rather than buying it.
• Jen will cut down on diamonds one meal a day, preparing her lunch instead with rubies, sapphires and slaves.