Kate Moss Is a Rich, Classy Role-Model

Dashing hopes prayers speculation that photographs of her doing cocaine might ruin her career, "model" Kate Moss has actually made nose-loads more cash since the scandal.

So, after inspiring countless adolescent eating disorders throughout the 90s, Moss is now showing the ladies of the world that the way to double one's salary is to do tons of coke. But don't just do tons of coke, do tons of coke while cameras are around, and get those pictures plastered all over the press. If I were a gal with some moxie, I'd take this tactic to the next level and conclude that my career could only benefit if I did tons of coke on camera while having sex with a salmon... and a giraffe... while kicking an old nun down the stairs... and pooping on a basket of orphans. But hurry up, it's only a matter of time before Kate herself pulls off this stunt and becomes a billionaire.