White House Celebrates 2 Weeks Without Vice President Shooting Someone in the Face

Between the NSA wiretapping scandal, the Dubai ports fiasco, Plamegate and growing dissent toward the Iraq War, the Bush Administration has been in serious need of some good news, and finally they got some. Over the weekend, The White House was pleased to announce that it had been two entire weeks since Vice President Dick Cheney shot someone in the face. Spokespeople refused to comment on whether Cheney had shot anyone in a body-part other than the face, stabbed anyone, poisoned anyone, or pushed anyone out a window, but Bush and company gleefully marked the milestone nonetheless. Things are finally looking up for the beleaguered POTUS.